What Do You Do?

A Lesson in Trust

Welcome Players! The other day I did a breathwork session with a woman who was referred to me by another trainer/coach.

He’s an old student of mine when I used to teach seminars and often refers me clients when they have a particular problem.

It’s always a bit funny because he never tells his clients much about me or my work, simply that they need to “go see Trainer 01* - he will fix that”.

*no one calls me Trainer 01 in real life, although I think it could catch on. Will have to work on that…

After I’m done taking the health history intake, I like to ask the new client, “What do you know about me?”

And the response is almost always, “Uhh. Nothing really. Person X just said I needed to come see you and that you could help me.”

I always chuckle a bit, because it’s not lost on me how in the beginning of my career I used to be so concerned about making sure people knew who I was and what I was capable of. I had 2 degrees and a host of skills! People needed to know!!!

And yet no one really cares about your credentials or experience. They care if you can fix their problem.

And in that regard, my reputation precedes me. Not because I lobby’ed for it to be so, but because my work speaks for itself. When someone is referred to me they come to me with the trust of the person who referred them.

“If Person X trusts Trainer 01, then I will too.”

And sometimes, my new client knows almost nothing about me except for the fact that I can fix their problem. And really that is all they need to know.

Because indeed, I can fix their problem.

What ends up happening though, as such with the woman I saw in this case, is that as we finished the session she said, “Wow! I didn’t know you could do manual therapy! What else can you do?!”

And it kind of caught me off guard. I don’t really think in those terms anymore, of what I can do.

And so I told her, “Well, I can do all sorts of things. But what they are isn’t super important. What is important is that I have a lot of tools in my toolbox that I’ve spent many years perfecting. When someone like you comes to me with a problem, it’s my job to select the best tool for the job in order to help you in as quick and efficient of a manner as possible.”

You see, I don’t let my clients pick which tools I’m going to use.

You might be thinking, oh sure that makes sense. But you’d be surprised.

Many times people will inquire about my services but only for a specific tool.

“I heard you do cupping, can you do that to fix my shoulder?”

“I’ve been having back pain and I want to do a breathwork session with you to fix it.”

“I’ve been struggling with knee pain so I want to have you look over my exercise technique so that it goes away”.

But the problem with this is that’s assuming the client understands the intricacies of the tools and when they are best fit for a problem.

It’s essentially like me going to a restaurant and telling the Chef, I want the filet mignon, but I want you to cook it in at low to medium heat in a frying pan.

The Chef would be furious! What idiot wants a filet mignon cooked in a frying pan!?

Well it made sense to me, I cook a steak in a frying pan at home all the time. It’s not amazing, but it works. What’s the problem??

The problem is that by telling the Chef what tools to use I’m assuming I know how to do their job better than them.

The same way someone telling me they want to use cupping to fix their back pain is them saying that they are well-versed in musculoskeletal disorders and have already decided that cupping is the best modality to use.

It makes no sense.

I don’t tell Chef’s how to create culinary art, and clients can’t tell me which modalities to use to get them out of pain.

Let’s say I didn’t have confidence in my choice of tools, and succumbed to the clients request for which modality to use. Let’s say I used cupping on their back pain, and that it didn’t help with the pain.

Was it the cupping that didn’t work? Or was it me that is bad at the cupping treatment?

The client is going to think one of the two above, not that cupping never stood a chance to help in the first place.

So no matter what, the client leaves with a negative perception of my work. That’s not good!

Whereas if I simply tell them, “I understand that you’d like a cupping treatment, but if you’d allow me to perform an evaluation and choose the modality that I think would be most effective I can guarantee we’re going to get much better results. I can’t guarantee that cupping is going to work for your issue without giving due diligence to my process first.”

Translated by the Chef, “I understand that you’d like your filet mignon cooked in a frying pan, but if you’d allow me to prepare your meal in the way that I see best, I can guarantee you will have a much better experience.”

Yes Chef! Sorry Chef!

When I talk about skills and tools in this regard, they really don’t matter to the public, because the public isn’t going to have as great an understanding of them anyway.

The same way I don’t really care how the Chef cooks the filet as long as it comes out medium-rare and tastes like a slice of beef-heaven, my clients don’t care what tool I use so long as it makes their pain go away.

Of course there are the rare clients who are very well-versed in treatment modalities because they have tried many of them before and have been able to find one modality that is successful, then yes of course they can request that I use it. But in that case, why would I say no? If I know a certain treatment has worked successfully in the past, then no need to re-invent the wheel. I’m going to choose that same modality again!

And so, my message to you this week, is to trust the professional you are seeking guidance from.

If you go to a fitness or sports medicine professional, trust them to do the job with the tool they think is best. Unless you think you know more than them, be careful on demanding a certain treatment approach because you may very well be undermining their expertise.

And if you go to a nice restaurant, don’t tell the Chef how to cook unless you want to be escorted out.

I also want to highlight how important trust is in these client-professional relationships.

If my clients don’t trust that I can do what I say I can do (which is get them out of pain), then they have no reason to trust that I can choose the right modality.

As such, if you seek out a treatment professional do so on a high-trust basis. Getting a referral from a former client and someone who can vouch for the professionalism and effectiveness of that person is important, both for you and them.

A relationship built on trust is a high priority in all aspects of life.

Next time you have a filet, make sure to thank the Chef.

- Trainer 01