On Attitude
The Farmer and his Son
Welcome Players! Have you heard the story of the farmer and his son?
Let me tell you a tale…
A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, "Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!"
The farmer replied, "Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see."
A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out,"Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!"
The farmer replied, "Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see."
Later that week, the farmer's son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, "Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!"
The farmer replied, "Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see."
A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer's son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, "Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!"
To which the farmer replied, "Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see.”
The moral of this story, is, of course, that no event, in and of itself, can truly be judged as good or bad, lucky or unlucky, fortunate or unfortunate, but that only time will tell the whole story.
Additionally, no one really lives long enough to find out the 'whole story,' so it could be considered a great waste of time to judge minor inconveniences as misfortunes or to invest tons of energy into things that look outstanding on the surface, but may not pay off in the end.
The wiser thing, then, is to live life in moderation, keeping as even a temperament as possible, taking all things in stride, whether they originally appear to be 'good' or 'bad.' Life is much more comfortable and comforting if we merely accept what we're given and make the best of our life circumstances.
Rather than always having to pass judgement on things and declare them as good or bad, it would be better to just sit back and say, "It will be interesting to see what happens."
You see, at any point the farmer could have been at the top of the scale of happiness, or bottom.
But he was neither.
The farmer embodies the Taoist philosophy, which is the belief to be neutral in life occurrences and to allow things to be, and not to be, simultaneously and forever.
I’m not going to get into Taoism today, although I am a growing believer, but I do want to point out how the farmer was able to stay calm in the face of negativity and composed in the face of positivity, because of his attitude.
You see, each of us holds a very unique lens every day. It’s not a physical lens, but a mental lens with which we view life. This is our perspective.
How many of us have felt sad, tired, lonely, depressed because of “X”. It doesn’t really matter what “X” is, because we’ve all felt those feelings before.
So how can we all relate to the same feeling, even though none of us have lived the exact experiences as another?
Our Attitude helps form our Perspective, to which fuels our subconscious reactions to life.
I had surgery to correct a herniated disc many years ago, and while the surgery could be considered a success, I was left with many functional complications because of it, mainly that I had on/off SI joint pain.
At it’s worst, the only relief I had was lying on the hard ground with my legs supported on stacked pillows.
At it’s best, well, I was pain-free and fully functional!
While the chronic injury has changed quite a bit over the years, what’s changed the most has been my attitude.
At first, it was “woe is me”. “Why did this have to happen to me?” “How do I fix it?”. “This is preventing me from doing all the things I wanted!”
If you’ve dealt with chronic pain I’m sure you can relate.
But recently, the past two years or so, I’ve had an intimate changing of my own relationship with the injury.
I will have an ‘episode’, as I call them, about once a year now. It used to be 3-4x a year, and it used to be much more painful and much more debilitating.
And so, as I limped around my apartment last week understanding that some way, some how, I managed to flare up the injury again, there was no feelings of despair, or hopelessness.
Ok, maybe some feelings of hopelessness and anger and “how did this happen?!” on the first two days. But I didn’t allow those thoughts to last.
It was much more acceptance and understanding.
I wasn’t exactly sure how or why my injury had flared up when I had done so much over the course of Project Par to eliminate the risk of an episode, and had done a good job of that I thought! Up until last Sunday apparently…
What I noticed the most was how my attitude reflected my perspective on the matter.
Instead of pointing out all the negative things that resulted from an episode, I merely accepted what had happened for what it is.
My SIJ had flared up, and that was that. Now what was I going to do to deal with it?
You see it’s your ATTITUDE that not only determines the direction of progress, but it also gives space for (or takes space away from) you to grow!
Let me put it simply: No matter how many objective good things happen to you, a shitty attitude will make it seem awful.
And no matter how many objective bad things happen to you, a positive attitude will make it seem better.
As we learned from the farmer and his son, there are no objective good or bad things in this world. Well, maybe some…
So the single most important thing that influences our emotions, the thing that is 100% in our control 100% of the time, is our attitude.
Those with a good attitude will have more good happen to them, not because the universe is making good things happen, but simply because the person is applying good to them!
We each have the power to improve our own lives, relationships, and goals by very simply starting with a positive attitude.
We each have the ability to turn seemingly negative occurrences into opportunities for growth, with nothing but our attitude.
We can make new friends, meet new people, experience new places and things with nothing more than an attitude!
And we can ruin relationships, businesses, kill ideas and murder progress, with nothing more than a poor attitude.
As children we’re taught this constantly. For the parents out there you probably teach your kids this too!
But how often do we pause and reflect on what our own attitude is?
Are we so caught up with life that we never once consider whether or not we’ve got the dark, scary lens on or the soft, bright lens on?
How could changing your perspective make you a better person? Or how could changing your attitude help you reconcile your goals and make progress on them?
My message to you this week team is that the most foundational aspect of progress, is a belief in yourself. And that belief in yourself is cultivated from your attitude on life.
A positive outlook will lend itself to maximizing your faith in your own ability and will allow you to take risks that lead to uninhibited growth and eventually, accomplishment.
I have spent so much talking about the scientific ways we can improve these objective measures of our health and performance. Those things are vitally important, don’t get me wrong.
But none of them is more important than your attitude.
Be a positive player, support your team, and no matter how dark the sky’s look, always have faith that the sun is still there, waiting for it’s moment to shine.
- Trainer 01
Project Par Week 39 Update
I hit a significant speed bump last week when I got off the bike after a short 37mi ride and couldn’t stand up straight.
Over the next few hours I fell into a full blown SIJ injury flare-up that I’ve dealt on and off with for years.
What’s done is done, so I had to take a few days off to recover. Thankfully it wasn’t too serious and now I’m getting back to the grind.
Read how I’m making adjustments to my training schedule in the Week 39 update:
